SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
