drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
