So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
