At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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