I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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