why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
