he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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