I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
