i don't like sucking hair
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
