dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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