You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
