Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize