I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
