I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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