lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize