Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
