We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
