Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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