Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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