I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Acid is not a monday night drug
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
