Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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