If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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