before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize