I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just threw up on my dentist
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
