just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
