Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
