either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
