i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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