"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
