Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
