come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we're making bets on your personal life
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
