She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
