is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize