I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
