Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
