whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
