I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
