the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
pray to the hookup gods
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
