Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
