Say something about gay babies.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
