I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
