Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
