dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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