I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
