I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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