Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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