i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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