No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
