Will you blow on my dice?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize