Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
