I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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