it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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