Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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