its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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