Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Randomize
