OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
