i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
