i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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