once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
