His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
