you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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