I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
