i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
