my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
