..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
